Thursday, September 21, 2006

Ten Reasons I Don't Smoke

People who smoke are often asking me why I don't smoke. I'm not sure why it is so important to them, but they always want to know. So here ten reasons why I don't smoke. (In no particular order)

  1. I already have emphysema.
  2. People are constantly splashing me with gasoline.
  3. It's against my religion.
  4. It would interfere with my crack addiction.
  5. I have very little control of my lower lip.
  6. My Grandmother died in a chimney accident.
  7. I've never had sex.
  8. Those PSA's on TV just speak to me.
  9. Smoking is just a trend. It'll pass.
  10. It's what the cool kids are doing, and they asked me to stop.


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