It's a sad day here in the White House. Oh, who am I kidding, I'm not in the White House, I'm at my ranch. I'm here so often, I think I will give the ranch a name similar to Michael Jackson's Ranch. He calls his the Never Never Land Ranch. I'm gonna call mine the Never Never Work Ranch.
The reason I'm sad is, my good buddy Donny Rumsy is steppin' down. I sure am going to miss that old hoot. But the worst part is now I have to think of somebody to take his place. I hate thinkin'. Here are some of the options I am considering for the new Secretary of the Fence.
- Saddam Hussein: You gotta admit, he's pretty good.
- Ben Wallace: I hear he's good at defense.
- Jack Bauer: Once we get him back from the Chinese, he'll probably want a desk job.
- Mark Foley: He knows a lot about being on the defensive, and he's got his finger on the pulse of America's youth.
- Bob Saget: I just like that guy.
- Raul: He is in charge of the fence at my ranch. He does a fine job.
- Walker Texas Ranger: Walker American Secretary of the Fence. (For him I could have it changed to Administrative Assistant of the Fence)