10 Ways I Am Like James Bond

1. James Bond has a license to kill. I have a learner's permit to kill.
2. James Bond's watch shoots a laser. My laser shoots a watch.
3. James Bond takes orders from the Queen of England. I used to take orders at Dairy Queen.
4. James Bond likes his Martinis shaken, not stirred. I like my babies shaken, not stirred.
5. James Bond has had sex with many exotic women. I've had sex.
6. James Bond can get himself out of any situation. I can get myself into any situation.
7. James Bond is an expert marksman. I am an expert groomsman.
8. James Bond gets all the ladies. I get all the maladies.
9. James Bond fears no one. I fear no Juan.
10. There is an on going dispute as to which James Bond is the best. There is an on going dispute as to which Nate Smith is the best ever.