Jesus Blog

Man, I sure am bored. I really want to get back down there. Dad says I have to wait. It's not time yet. But I don't know, it sure seems like they need me. There's a lot of bad stuff going on down there, and what's worse is a lot of it is being done in my name. I didn't authorize any of that crap.

But when I go back, before I do any work, I'm going to have a little fun. I didn't take the time to enjoy myself last time. This time, I'm going to have a little me time. I think first, I'll find a really self righteous and greedy winery owner who has a huge vineyard and open up my own little wine stand across the street from him. I'll just have a hose connected to a fire hydrant and when the water comes out it'll be wine. I'll call it Jesus Juice, or JJ for short. And I'll give it away for free, and then that other guy's business will tank. I just have to make sure that if there is a fire nearby, I turn the fire hydrant wine back into water, because I think wine is flammable.

Oh, but before I do that, I have to hit a Krispy Kreme! Man those doughnuts are so good! They are to ascend for! I can't believe we don't have one up in Heaven.

And of course, the last thing I'll do before I get to work, is get myself a hooker. Because you know how I like to hang out with the prostitutes. And the best part is, I get to write it off as a business expense. "Thank you Mary, now go and sin no more."