Thursday, November 09, 2006

"Ending it all"

As I was vainly checking up on who was checking up on me, and how they were checking up on me, I noticed in the list of google search terms used to find my website, someone entered the term "Ending it all." OH NO! Well whoever this person was I am glad they found my blog rather than "DeathyMcDeatherton'". I hope that the sheer hilarity of my blog was enough to make this googler feel like life was worth living. But just in case frivolous jokes about Panda Bears and Ninjas (or maybe Ninja Bears!!! coming soon) isn't enough to keep this person from throwing in the towel, here is a message to them.

Dear awesome person deserving of living a long life and only dying of natural causes,
I noticed you are interested in gathering information on "ending it all." Please do not end it all. In fact please do not end more than 50% of it. You have so much to live for! Just think about all the awesome things out there. There are things like handlebar mustaches, Pinatas that look like Weird Al Yankovich, one legged puppies named Pogo, Lunchables, Dinnerables, and Brunchables. There are monkeys that know how to do Kung Fu, Rock bands that dance on treadmills, and men that preach about the sins of same sex marriage and then get caught paying for a male prostitute.
This is just a short list. I could go on and on. The point is, there are too many good things around to end it all. So instead of ending it all, why don't you try starting some of it.


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