Toucan Sam Blog

Man, I am so pissed! So, here I am just minding my own business, following my nose where ever it may go, and what happens? I find out that Cheerios has totally started to copy me. What the hell? I already have to fend off cheap imitators like "Fruit-O's", "Loops-O-Fruit" and "Fruit of the Loom". But now I have to deal with this? Cheerios is stabbing me in the back! Forget following my nose. Try following my foot as I shove it your ass, Cheerios.

Does Cheerios even have a mascot? I don't think they do. I imagine if they do it's some British pansy running around saying "Cheerio!" Either that, or a drooling baby. But what's the difference? That wouldn't even be a fair fight. I just wouldn't feel good about myself for beating up on a poor defenseless British guy. I'll have to retaliate in some other way.

Cheerios, be warned: It is on! I am going to unleash an army of new cereal products that may or may not be similar to your products. In the future keep an eye out for Frootless Loops, Honey Nut Loops without Froot, and Frosted Loops of the unfrooted variety. And if you don't like it, you can go cry to your Queen.

And Fruit of the Loom, be on the alert, we will soon be releasing an edible underwear called Fruit of the Loops. We're watching you.