Thursday, December 14, 2006

The Adventures of Nunchuck Nate: Episode 2


Nunchuck Nate was diligently working on his newest special ninja move, where he nunchucks his opponent with his right hand, and kicks them with his left leg (virtually unstoppable), when suddenly his beeper went off.

"The Chuck Signal!" Nate exasperated. He did a back flip to where his nightstand was and grabbed his beeper. It was the Commissioner. "Justice needs me!" Nate ran up the stairs to call him back. Upstairs Nunchuck Nate's Grandpa was using the only phone in the house to order cheap prescription drugs from Canada. "Grandpa! I need to use the phone!"

"This is a long distance call you lil' whipper snapper. Soon I'll be dead and you can make as phone calls as you want!" Shouted Grandpa.

"You're making Justice cry, Grandpa!" Nate yelled as he bolted out of the house. Nate had to find a payphone and fast! He ran to the corner of the street to where his usual payphone was. This time, it wasn't there. "What!?" Nate exclaimed. An old homeless guy sitting on the curb cackled at Nunchuck Nate.

WHAM! Nate Nunchucked the man's head clean off, then he sprinted down the street in desperate pursuit of a payphone. Why wasn't his usual payphone there? Why hadn't he seen any payphones anywhere? What was going on? And then Nate saw the answer to all his questions. There, in the strip mall, was a new store. GLOBILE MOBILE, a giant cell phone emporium. Nate's beeper shook nervously as he entered the store.

"Welcome to Globile Mobile, how can I make your day?" said an overly friendly employee.

"I need to use a phone."

"Well we have plenty of phones here. Let me start by asking you how many minutes you'll be needing."

"I'm just going to need it for 2 minutes," said Nate.

"Okay, well our smallest plan includes 15,000,000 minutes a month, and of course that is with a 2 year agreement."

"No, I just need it for 2 minutes, right now. Justice is waiting!" Nate was getting impatient and his nunchuck was starting to itch.

"Well I'm sorry but these phones are for sell, I can't let you use one until you buy it."

"How about this, I'll trade you this nunchuck for a phone."

"What? We don't really take ninja weaponry as currency..."

WHAM!!! Nate walloped the employee and took his phone. He dialed 1-800-JUSTICE. The Commissioner answered.

"Nunchuck Nate, thanks for calling me back."

"When Justice calls, you answer. It's a lot like nature in that way," replied Nate. "What hideous crime am I preventing today Commissioner?"

"Actually...none. Nate you've done such an effective job of fighting crime in this city, that there are literally no more jobs for you. Our budget is tight, and without any real crime out there, we can't justify keeping you on the payroll. I'm sorry." The Commissioner hung up. Nate paused a really long time. Then he set the phone on the counter, and nunchucked it. Nate sadly wallowed out into the street and walked home. What would he do now? Nate would have to find a real job.

To Be Continued...


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