if I say so

I've come to a realization that anytime I make a declaration that I'm going to do something, I don't do it. It's not that I am not trying to do it. I fully intend to do it. But invariably, something gets in my way. Case in point: I recently declared that I was going to take a hiatus from this blog. After a couple of weeks, I missed it so damn much that I started writing it again. So then I declared that I was going to start writing this blog regularly again. And now...it's been 6 days since my last post. And let's face it, I was pretty much just phoning it in on those posts. At first I thought this was a horrible character flaw on my part. Look at me! I'm the guy who can't make good on any of his promises. But then I realized, even if I promised to be a slacker, I couldn't live "up" to that. So maybe my curse, is really my power. Maybe I can use this power for good. Maybe I can start declaring that I am NOT going to do certain things that I do want to do. For instance, I am not going to ever get my own comedy show on national TV. That's right! I said it people! NEVER! I will never do that! Also, I will never punch Dr. Phil in the throat (I would have gone for punching him in the balls, but there seems to be a layer of fat blocking access to his balls, and his throat is a much bigger target anyway). And, I am NEVER going to cheat on my wife...wait, I mean I WILL cheat on my wife!
Of course, now that I think about it, based on the theory that whatever I say will happen, the opposite happens, I guess this curse will no longer exist. Crap.