Monday, May 28, 2007

10 Movies I Wish Hollywood Would Make

1. Hannibal Lectern: A movie about a podium that eats people as they try to give speeches.
2. Pulp Diction: A movie about two guys with really bad vocabularies.
3. Lamp Before Time: A movie about how fire was discovered by three young dinosaurs.
4. Rakes on a Plane: While walking through the aisle of a jetliner, Samuel L. Jackson continuously steps on rakes, causing them to hit him in the face over and over until he finally yells "I'm tired of all these Mother F#%*in' rakes on this Mother F#%*in' Plane!
5. Pirates of the Carabiner: Captain Jack Sparrow climbs the 7 Deadly Trees in search of gold.
6. Schindler's Lisp: A Nazi struggles with his inability to pronounce the word "execute."
7. So I Married an Axe: A complete shot by shot re-make of Mike Meyer's "So I Married an Axe Murderer" only this time his love interest is an axe.
8. 3 Men and a Kid: A re-make of the 3 Men and a Baby movie, only instead of a baby, it's a goat!
9. Mortal Wombat: Cute and cuddly little wombats destroy each other in a martial arts tournament to the death.
10. Jurassic Pork: The Pornographic prequel to Jurassic Park which explains how the dinosaurs were really created.


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