Tuesday, March 20, 2007


People are often asked "what superpower would you have?" Usually the recipient of this question thinks for a quite a while and then says something lame like "I'd have the ability to fly!" Flying is cool, but if you could have ANY superpower you want, that's the one you would choose? Come on! I heard a friend of mine answer this question one time and he said that if he could have any superpower he would choose to be "bulletproof." BULLETPROOF!?!?!? Um, are you also Arrowproof? What about lasers and fire? I think you want to be a little wiser with your words when choosing your superpower. I no longer respect that guy. Needless to say we are not friends anymore.

When people ask me this question, like during job interviews or blind dates, I don't hesitate for a second. I know my answer. If I could have any superpower I wanted, I would have the ability to grow a mustache! But not only could I grow the mustache, I would have full control of it and could grow it as fast as I wanted. This means, that along with creating great disguises for sneaking past evil henchman (or Jessica Biel's security guards), I can also use my mustache the way Spiderman uses his webs. I can pick people up with it, catch falling airplanes in a huge mustache tarp, or use it as a big propeller so I can fly! I have this image of a huge mustache fist coming from my upper lip to punch a bad guy. It is glorious! I would be called The Mustachioed Marauder!


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