Friday, April 11, 2008

I'm Not Leaving...On a Jet Plane!

Recently hundreds of thousands of Americans have been stranded in Airports as their flights have been cancelled. This is a serious problem and if it is not solved soon, the end result could be 300,000 Americans turning into Tom Hanks’ character from “The Terminal.”

The reason this crisis has occurred, according to airline officials, is that a majority of their planes have failed the Federal Aviation Administration safety inspections. BORING! If my flight is going to be delayed and I have to sit in an airport and eventually become a Hangar Hobo (I just coined that) then I want a better excuse than, “Sorry, we just don’t think our planes are very safe.” Give me an excuse with a little more...zazz!

Here are are 10 excuses I’d rather hear for why my flight has been cancelled.

  1. “Literally there are snakes on the plane.”
  2. “Sorry, your flight has been cancelled due to explosion.”
  3. “Your plane is currently under attack by ninjas.”
  4. “Turns out your plane was a decepticon, and it has murdered the pilot.”
  5. “Your pilot is afraid of heights.”
  6. “We are almost ready. We just had to make a minor repair to the plane but we ran out of duct tape.”
  7. “We are just waiting for your pilot’s suicide medication to take effect.”
  8. “We lost your plane.”
  9. “Everything is ready to go, we just need a little more time to root through your luggage.”
  10. “Global warming?”


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