Russia Calls the Hump

Russia set off on an expedition today to put their flag at the bottom of the Arctic Ocean in order to lay claim to the oil and gas that might lie down there. This is a crafty move on Russia's part. The Russians are comparing it to putting a flag on the moon, and if putting a flag on the moon is like calling "Shotgun" before you get into a car, then putting a flag at the bottom of the ocean is like calling the middle of the back seat. Sure, getting to sit shotgun is exciting. But what real benefits does it have? Ample leg room, I suppose. But the middle of the back seat is where it's really at! Yes, it will be cramped back there. Being at the bottom of the ocean you'll be stuck between the ocean floor and tons of liquid pressure. But, there are so many advantages to being in the middle of the back seat. For instance, you have access to both of the pockets on the back of the two front seats, and there are all sorts of exciting treasures in those pockets. So kudos to you Russia. Way to go where no man had really considered going before.

Take A Chill Pill

A new birth control pill, called Lybrel, has been released that will not only eliminate the chance of having a baby, but will also make it so women don't have to go through their period. Some women are against this idea saying that it is unnatural. I think they are just PMSing about it and in a few days they will be a little easier to talk to.